She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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