He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
