lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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