sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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