so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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