just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
