i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
