Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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