Im at strip club and am horny
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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