so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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