I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize