I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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