No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
