Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you had me at cake vodka
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize