I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
