..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
