thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
