He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We are two peas in an std pod
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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