Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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