So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
