I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
