Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
