just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
