So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
