I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
