The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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