Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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