I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
