Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
