Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
