so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
