Christians are straight up FREAKS
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
