I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
