I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just cropdusted the office
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
