I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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