i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just pee around me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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