My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
