i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
