We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
