The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
