every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
