I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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