This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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