he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
