what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
