By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
