i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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