I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
