Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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