i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize