In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
