shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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