sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
