I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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